Tuesday, September 20, 2011

 

I have had my chances. I have tried and tried. I have stitched life into me like a rare organ- Sylvia Plath

I sometimes get very scared that I find myself identifying so strongly with early twentieth century mild to strong female feminist authors who ended up killing themselves. Virginia Woolf walked into the sea with stones in her pocket. Sylvia Plath pushed her head into the oven. Her children were asleep in the very next room. And I am not talking about identifying with the common intention of committing suicide. It’s the suicide of a bright promising mind rather than the mundane destruction of a life.

Is being an intelligent aware woman a left handed compliment by God? You might be good enough, but destined to go through life unappreciated. It irks me when I read about aspiring women authors in the early twentieth century who sent their works to publishers under a masculine pseudonym to avoid discrimination of their works because of their gender. What really saddens me is even today I find many women not confident enough to accept their sex and whatever comes with it. The name ‘JK Rowling’ doesn’t sound like she is a woman, does it ?

I have many friends, both guys and girls alike who think girls cant be friends amongst themselves. One of them was a girl I was on very good terms with. Listening to her, I felt like a metaphorical Sylvia Plath on her way to the oven in the kitchen. If I cant prove by example, I wonder what other method is convincing enough.

Answers, anyone?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

How to be happy..

 

Be sad. Grieve the bad things that happen to you. Allow yourself to feel terrible because it’s the only way you can ever really feel good again. Don’t say “I’m fine!” when you’re actually not because it’s only going to make you feel worse. There’s no shame in spending an afternoon in bed feeling sorry for yourself. There’s no shame in giving someone an honest answer when they ask how you’re doing. It’ll feel liberating actually. Saying “I feel like crap!” is the fastest ticket to “I feel great!”

Have healthy amounts of sex. Treat it like it’s a vitamin. Have you taken yours today? It’s essential that you feel desired and connected to another person. Have sex with someone on a Tuesday and watch it tide you over for the next few weeks. Feel complete and fulfilled, like you’ve just crossed something important off of your to-do list. Go up to your next partner and tell them, “Hello. Something is missing from my life and I believe it’s your penis or vagina. Would you mind having sex with me so I can be restored back to health? Thanks so much. You’re such a good person.”

Realize that being happy is a conscious decision. You could be one of the lucky ones who has happiness come easily to them, but most people need to make a concentrated effort to feel good. This doesn’t make you weak or a phony. It just means that you’re a person who knows how bad life can get.

Delete the toxic people in your life. They can include The Friend Who Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself, The Friend Who Will Only Hang Out With Me Behind Closed Doors, And The Friend I Can’t Depend On For Anything. This an ongoing project. Toxic people don’t go away overnight but it’s important to recognize who they are and begin to cut the fat. If you’re unsure if a friend is toxic or not, just ask yourself the question, “How often do I find myself pissed or upset at this friend’s behavior?” If the answer is “OMG, like a lot!”, you got some trimming to do.

Don’t feel guilty about doing something you knew would hurt you. Don’t beat yourself up about sleeping with the boy who makes you feel like crap the second you orgasm, or a night in which you got too drunk because it doesn’t do you any good. You just shame spiral about it, which makes you more inclined to do it again. You have to be like, “Yikes! I shouldn’t have done that again because I know it makes me feel bad but, oh well, I did so let’s move on and hopefully learn from my mistakes.” Understand that you’re going to be doing a lot of stupid things in your life so you can’t fixate on every single one.

Do more of the things that make you happy and less of the things that don’t. This might sound simple and obvious but, hi, it’s not. Sometimes you don’t even know something is making you unhappy until you actually take a step back from it.

Try to do things that terrify you because it will make you feel like a strong evolved person. You’ll scream, “I’m a person who conquers fears. Yay!” You might even be able to join some sort of club, or at the very least, get a gold star.

Be honest with yourself and other people. In this day and age, there are so many opportunities for BS. Don’t be afraid of #realtalk.

 

*The original article can be found on this awesome website:-http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/how-to-be-happy/

Sunday, September 4, 2011

 

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue."

- Pablo Neruda

 
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