Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I've been dormant on my blog for over a year. Not that i didn't have the resources to write.. More like i had nothing to write.

Or so I thought ..

Looking back in time as well as through my blog I realized how impersonal I sounded. Like i run a radio show whose fans had to be kept entertained although not at the expense of divulging the dirty secrets of my life.
It took me some time to realize its only a matter of perception. Yours and what you think/dont think others perceive of you. Sounds like a whole load of hogwash .. I know. But thats the truth of it.
I will name a few blogs at the end of this post whose genuineness is the only reason behind its popularity. I look up to these people. Those who aren't scared of being frank, honest and more importantly of being themselves; to hell with what others adhere to as being acceptable social behavior. Let them practice it if they love it so much.
You may find it hard to comprehend what the fuss is all about... I'd say you are one of the lucky few who are either past this stage or are yet to reach it.

I remember a time when I so wanted to fit in that I chose to be confused rather than stand my ground. Of course, on the outside I was still seen as stubborn and ill mannered with a short fuse. My image mattered more .. because i couldn't stand the possibility of being ridiculed of who I actually was.
Ridiculing me for who I am not ... ? Sure.Go ahead.Whatever.

Today I wish I had never set eyes on some of the people I so wanted to fit in with.
Today I'd rather get my tongue pierced with a hot iron needle than try to fit in with them.

Sounds like i hate them. Guess i have changed for the better. And thankfully so. Hopefully they have realized it as well... although I still have reservations of them seeing through my thin veneer of contempt.

I am 21 and unemployed and never felt more optimistic about my future.


A typical confession by a typical twenty something.


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